To send letters, postcards, and other small, paper-thin, mail-ish things:
genevieve s. vesely
To send any sort of package-y thing:
genevieve s. vesely
To contact me via tellie:
812.340.1648 (cellie, free on nights and weekends, or if you're a verizon customer...)
Telepathic lines are on the fritz currently.
This is a exert from the Chorale's most recent performance. It's a traditional shape-note tune called Pennsylvania. It takes awhile to load, but it's worth it because we're that cool!
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Also, my most recent project in Figure Modeling. There are some aspects of this piece that I like a lot, so I tried to capture those in the pictures, and not capture the things about how I modeled her that I don't like. *shrug*
That's about all. I have two more chorale performances this weekend, and then about 2 or 3 a week until school ends. My Human Biology class is putting on a Human Bio fair for a local middle school, and my group is presenting about Eating a Rainbow, or basically about getting enough fresh fruits and veggies into your diet, and basic nutrition. Kinda cool.
Only about a month left of school! Yeah, summer!
This is the pose that I think the hands will end up being positioned in:
did anyone else notice Dan Brown's 'The DaVinci Code' reading like a harlequin novel?
or am i just strange?
So, despite it all, all the doubts I've had, all the worries that I wouldn't live through these past few weeks, against all odds, I am still alive. I'm not done yet, but the end is becoming more and more defined, the closer I get to it. There isn't just a light at the end of the tunnel, but some definition to the shape of the end as well.
I have a presentation in Women's Studies in a little over an hour, on the benefits, as well as the adverse health effects of oral contraceptives. Monday I have a presentation on The American Influence on the Beatles, and Vice Versa in my America's Music class, a revision and short presentation on my Ireland paper due in my Comp. class; Tuesday, a big compilation final that scares me to death, though I'm anticipating a lot of fun studying with people for it; Wed, a final reflection paper for Women's Studies, and then I'm DONE.
And ohmaaaan. Am I ready to be done.
In no way am I ready for Christmas though. I have so few means to budget and find shopping time for this holiday gone material-hungry. So, expect a gift of never-ending hugs from me, and be satisified? Please?
("Be Satisfied. Be satisfied!" - Romeo + Juliet)
I'm thinking about, after getting some work done, making a trip to Ingles tonight, and getting things to make truffles, as presents for college-dwellers...
I have 5 1/2 days left. I'm just hoping that I can put off crashing until Thursday night, when I get home. I'm running out of fumes to keep me going. Caffiene, Vitamin C... I can't really eat anymore. Not in excess amounts. I got some salad and a few fries down today at lunch. I ate part of a biscuit, and a couple of pieces of potato with gravy at breakfast. Cookies during comp. class. Nibbles here and there. Eating just makes me feel sick...
I really can't wait to be home, and to be able to eat again. Be able to sleep again. Even when I have a few hours to sleep, like last night, I still wake up three or four times. Last night, I woke up at 4am, 6am, and a few other times when I just didn't bother looking at the clock. It's so frustrating.
Anyway, that's me. My life. I'm not dead yet.
In my Freshman Seminar class today, we had a visit from the Career Counseling on campus. I'd been looking forward to this, as I'd been having many doubts lately on various aspects of decisions that I'd made. I've already discussed some of these with people who may be reading this, but for those who haven't had their ears chewed off yet, I've been worrying about many things lately. In particular, whether I still want to go into acupuncture. I still like the idea of acupuncture, and have faith in it, but with how ingrained it is in the chinese culture, I'm worried that those elements of chinese culture that I really don't agree with would effect my experience negatively. Of course, there are many different other alternative medicine fields that I can hop into. Particularly nutrition is where I'm leaning now.
But I'm also having difficulty absorbing my decision to go to college right now. At all. I'm getting more and more ancy, and all I really want is to be learning something that I can apply more immediately. If I went to culinary school, I'd be able to work at the same time, and I'd be out of school and working within two years. I'd be able to get a relatively good job wherever I went.
So the rep. from Career Counseling had fun making us move around the room, looking at different areas where our strengths lay, and had us give critical feedback on a survey which we're going to have to take sometime this week. After class, which he let us out 30 minutes early from, he walked with me as I expressed some of these concerns that I've been having. And I feel no better after talking to him. To my concerns about needing to be somewhere where I could immediately start applying what I was learning, he expressed the opinion that even if I wasn't in college, it wasn't as though I could just start out by being a head chef.
Just for the record, I do understand this. That would be the point of getting a job, and going to culinary school at the same time. Getting practical experience at the same time as I'm learning, so that I can immediately apply my knowledge.
For my concerns about acupuncture, something that I've wanted to do for so long, and all of a sudden am having doubts about, because of the culture, he merely responds that I should try and get on the bandwagon for one of the Wilson World-Wide trips to China sometime.
Please correct me if I'm wrong. I see how that would help if I was really interested in Chinese culture, and needed that experience to still encourage me further, expand my knowledge for my acuputure career. And maybe he was trying to suggest that if I went there, I would change my mind about some of the aspects of the Chinese culture which rub me the wrong way.
But I just didn't get any of the comfort, or counseling that I was looking for. He kept on trying to refer my doubts somehow back to the survey which we had been looking at, and trying to rewrite some of the critiques, but not for my benefit, but rather for the benefit of the survey questions. Using my concerns as some concerns that he hadn't addressed on the survey, he asked for my input on where to fit in some of my concerns on the survey. Do I think that this sort of career counseling fits more under a situation where people would want a Person to talk to, or for resources to be available?
I wanted to scream. Am I not talking to you, as a person, as a counseler, right now? Can you not recognize my need for... I don't even know what I need at this point.
I have a 6-8 page paper due tomorrow, and two-5-6 page papers and a quiz due wednesday. I really just want to go to sleep for a week, and ignore everything, and everyone. Recognizing that sleep is my method of escape leads me to understand that I'm not enjoying myself right now. Maybe college isn't all about enjoyment though. I just didn't think that it would be as ultimately frustrating as this.
Now, if only I could just magically be this prolific with the papers which I'm writing...
I know that I had some very strong feelings about my experiences last night and this morning, and I'm trying to figure out how to express them, to you, and to myself. I've only had about four hours of sleep, so I might not be as clear as I wish I could be, but I'll try.
I stayed up in Fellowship Hall on campus last night, which is the hall connected to the Presbyterian (sp?) chapel on campus. I was staying there with a program called "Room In The Inn" which is a three month transitional program for woman who are homeless and jobless, to try and help them get back up on their feet. I guess that the story behind it is there used to be a large co-ed transitional shelter in Asheville, but that a lot of the woman were uncomfortable staying in a co-ed shelter because many of them had been abused by men. So the Room In The Inn program carries these women from church to church, giving them a place to stay, helping them find jobs, feeding them, etc. They usually stay about a week at each church facility.
During the week that Room In The Inn is here on campus, we have students every night taking shifts staying up and keeping watch; mostly just in case one of the women wakes up and wants somebody to talk to, just making sure that they know that there's somebody there for them. There were about nine or eleven women staying with us last night, and about half of them were very talkative, and seemed to be very strong women, whereas the other half seemed so shy, and seemed like they didn't really want to be acknowledged at all. To be acknowledged would make the situation that they were in become much more real than they wanted it to be. Or maybe they were just tired. I imagine it's a combination of the two.
There seemed to be a connection to some of the women. The ones who were more outspoken, most if not all of them smoked, and what's more, those same outspoken women all seemed to be missing their front top teeth.
One of the women only had a sweatshirt and a flannel bathrobe to protect against the cold, and she was having wheezing, juicy coughing fits, as she would leave to go back outside in the freezing cold and smoke more cigarettes.
I didn't hear any of these women's life stories, but over the course of the night, and of this morning, I heard snipets of their lives. A couple of the women would just randomly bring up one of their boyfriends, a story about when she made him angry, when they'd been fighting, and he went and shaved all of the hair on his head and face, except for his moustache. One of the women was saying that her boyfriend had taken off a week ago, and taken all of her identification with him, making it very difficult for her to find a job now.
I look at these women, going to bed at 9pm, waking up at 5am, and they seem to be just sleepwalking through life. Yes, they're attempting to make their lives better, to become self-sufficient, but many of them seem so unmotivated about it. It almost seems that if they weren't given food and this warm place to sleep, along with all of the job searching aid and the 5am wake-up call, it just wouldn't be worth it. I wonder how many of these women will be on their own and out of this program by the time their three month time limit is up. I also am brought back to the question that I've been dwelling on frequently, more so recent years, of how to motivate anyone, including oneself.
There was a little girl there for awhile last night too, who I was playing with. I finished knitting one of my rainbow hats when I was there, and she asked for it, so I gave it to her. I was afraid that the hat was going to be too big, but I forgot that heads don't grow too much, that we're born with pretty large heads in the first place. It was a good fit, and she was so pleased with it. It made me happy to see her enjoying it so much. She had to leave soon after that, and before she left she came and gave me a picture that she'd drawn. There were two girls on it, and one of them was telling a story about the name Sarah, and about how it was "a famous name". (The girl's name wasn't Sarah though.) We decided together that tattoos, especially fake ones, are super cool, and she was telling me about a fake tattoo that she saw which was a pool ball, with black fire coming from behind it, and how it was a "tattoo for boys". I tried to tell her that fire was pretty, and that girls were allowed to like fire too, but since it was black fire, she couldn't be convinced. Strange how much gender affects us, even so young. She's seven years old.
I wish that the women had been more willing to talk about their situations, but I couldn't have asked them to. I want to know what their dreams are, if for no other reason than to just know that, even at this point in their lives, they still have dreams, if not the motivation to live them out yet.
Anyway, it's 8:30am now. I've been awake since 5:30am, and didn't get to sleep until after 2am. I've had a bowl of fake peaches n' cream oatmeal, and one of Aunt Jemima's waffles. I've found a love for banana pudding, with the vanilla wafers, and the pudding, and the cool whip. It reminded me of my Mama's cooking. It was amazingly delicious, and precisely what I needed last night.
And what I need now is sleep, but I'm not sure that I would wake up in 45 minutes for class if I slept now. I don't know. We'll see, I guess.
Otherwise, I'm doing fine. A little stressed, as this last week was insanely, horrifically, desparately stupid with homework. But I'm still alive, and still breathing. I should really get ahead on some of these big, end of the semester projects that I have looming up ahead of me this month. It's just so hard to get ahead.
I get to come home in just over a week! I cannotcannotcannot wait.
And I really need to do laundry. My socks smell like my boots.
I've already talked to some of you about this, but I'm having a lot of trouble re-adjusting to college, after coming back from visiting home. A lot of homework pressure, and a feeling of a lack of Bloomington-esque community here, that I don't know how to survive without. I'm thinking that I'm going to have to drop my new Term 2 backpacking class, because it requires that I take off every few weekends, for an Entire weekend, to go backpacking. Of course, this should be expected from a backpacking class, but I didn't realize that my life would be turned upside-down by homework this term. I have three papers due next week, a forth due the week after, and it's not even midterm anymore. I have at least one paper due every week for the rest of this semester, on top of all the readings, and main projects, and side projects, and written reflections. Not to mention gaining an hour at work every week this term, and still having to do two community service trips sometime. I'm freaking out.
But I'll live.
If anyone wants to give me some form of advice on how to handle my work load, I'd be amazed and grateful forever.
On a different note, Halloween was interesting:
Gena = DemonPony!
Just some pictures of campus, a couple of people, etc. It'd been awhile.
Sorry for all of those who would rather I linked these images. I don't know that html...
Just outside of my dorm.
Bell tower and lamppost, again, just outside my dorm.
Bridge over to the upper-class dorms. This was built by students several years ago.
The science building, with a mountain in the background.
Some of our farm, and some of our cows, and some more mountains.
This swing is one of the best stress-relievers on campus...
No really important visual information. Just a BMW, and mountains, and sooo much sky.
Hannah, at the Cafe! Apparently, we're the same person. Apparently, we have the same mannerisms, etc. It's crazy.
Miss Emily, with her newest piercings! (Hint: Check the knuckles...) Her rowing team won silver today!
Suz-a. (Every picture of her, ever, could be framed. I think this one would be an amazing album cover.)
Talula and I.
Not much else going on. Tests on Tues. and Wed., "beginnings of a paper" due Wed. (No idea what professor means by that, need to ask...), readings due Mon., writings and journal entries due Tues. It's gonna be a fun week.
But I got my LEAF volunteer confirmation information!!! *happy dance*
Tyann came last night, and visited through this morning. She had an amazing time (besides losing her wallet on the way up), and an amazing interview, and it was a lot of fun. We carved a pumpkin with Lindsay, and danced at a dance party at Sage dorm for a long time. It was Freezzing last night, and staying out caused me to wake up with the sniffles, but I'll survive. Good thing tomorrow's Sunday, and I have time to finish all of this homework... Other than that, one week until I'll be coming home!
I wish that my hair would stay like this for forever...
I got back my college comp. 1 revised essay today, and it's up from a 93 to a 96!
and my face itches.